I recently came across a quote from Roy T Bennett that made me stop in my tracks.
“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
I think this a really powerful qoute and I want to give my thoughts on how attitude is choice and deep dive into this qoute
I've always prided myself on trying to be kind to everyone. Now don't get me started, I'm no saint but I do try to grapple my intrusive thoughts back to how I would want to be thought about. It used to be easy to immediately go to the negative when I was a teenager. If I woke up and my skin was bad, great the whole day is going to be bad. It's hard for me to admit but I used to not take care of myself at all. I would put food into my body because it tasted good, but would give me no fuel for the day. I think my poor diet aided in my negative attitude as a teenager and made me feel worse throughout the day. When I think about attitude being a choice, I think of all the times I let one bad thing ruin my day, my week, my month.
Making attitude a choice in the modern age means evaluating how much you are going to let things get to you. If something happens and you get super upset then you are making it a big deal and letting it make you unhappy.
For example, your professor gives you feedback on a story idea and tells you that it is not up to par with the standards of the class and that you need to try harder. If you let that comment from your professor get you down, the intrusive thoughts will tell you, " Wow I suck at writing and can't come up with any good ideas. Wow this professor is so rude and I'm trying my hardest." You can change your thinking by saying to yourself, "Okay my professor is letting me know before it's due that this is not what is expected and I can try harder for when I actually need to submit my story."
If we change the way we think about inconveniences happening to us, we can change how much it affects our happiness. The statement we heard as children of treat others how you want to be treated is something I feel like people have forgotten. I hear women all the time making comments about other women's bodies or how they are dressing or just putting them down in general behind their backs. Everyone has those instant intrusive thoughts of a negative comment about someone you don't like. If we can stop ourselves before we vocalize it we can think, " Is this just my insecurities about myself talking and does this need to be said aloud or can I think more positively."
We as humans are very selfish people. We want everything to go our way and for us to come out on top. Im sure in this month alone you have driven or walked by someone who is homeless and thought how sad it was. Have you walked by an angel tree in the mall recently? Have you ignored the man ringing the bell in front of Walmart asking for donations for the Salvation Army? Giving is a choice and a privilege to be able to do. I'm guilty of always avoiding eye contact and saying that I don't have any cash or change on me. I feel like we only ever try to be generous during the holidays because we feel guilty to. Signs that others are less fortunate than us are all around us and we think, "it's the holidays I should help out." So the people who really do need our help, only get it once a year. Homeless shelters are at capacity year round and the opioid crisis continues to add to the amount of youth living on the streets. If we can consider giving being a choice year round, we can significantly impact the happiness of others. It can be as simple as donating to a charity, volunteering at a soup kitchen, or going up to someone who is living on the street and offering to buy them lunch.
Respect is something that I don't really see anymore. People interrupting while someone is talking or using your roommates stuff without asking. Everyone should be given respect, but if they prove to you that they are not worthy of it anymore, than feel no regret in taking it away. In this quote, it finishes with, "Whatever choice you make makes you." This is something we should apply to our lives everyday. Each decision we make, defines us. If you make poor decisions and decide to be disrespectful to others, to hate on others bodies and things they cannot change about themselves then your attitude and happiness will suffer.
-M
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